So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
