In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's blow job season.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
