Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
