you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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