ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
