we're blogging at a bar
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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