Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I CAN MOONWALK!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
