u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
