Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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