What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
