is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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