oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
