Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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