Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
