she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
