Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
