Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
