I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
