i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
