do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
