i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
