I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
