you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
