So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
