I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
