It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
