Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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