After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
