The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
