Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
