i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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