Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
