I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We need to rekindle our bromance
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
