We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
