i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
