I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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