I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
