i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
