The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His nipple licking is glorious
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