I think I am morally bankrupt
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
