We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
