for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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