i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
