nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
