He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
