question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
