Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize