Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
