You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
