I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
