why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
