Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
More tranny stories later!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
