saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
