I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
