My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
