she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize