You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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