You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
